Penguing 2.0 Recovery Strategies - Chris Fielden - 06.06.13

What is Penguin 2.0?

Penguin is the name of a Google algorithm update that penalises websites with poor quality links in their backlink profile. If you have undertaken any spammy SEO practices in the past, like paying for links from a known link network for example, your website is likely to be penalised.

Penguin was first launched in April 2012. Penguin 2.0 is the latest algorithm update. You can see a full history of Google algorithm updates on Moz. Continue Reading

Derpy Dumb and Dumber - Chris Fielden 31.05.13

Google: the brand name might sound familiar. For anyone who has spent the last decade shipwrecked or in a coma, Google is an innovative internet search tool that enables the populace of the planet easy access to documentation on all conceivable subject matters.

Google is the Aston Martin DB5 of search engines. It should be cherished, respected and driven carefully. Sadly, Google is a DB5 that’s owned by everyone on Earth. Everyone gets to drive it. As fast as they like. For free.

When certain individuals (AKA most people) don’t have to deal with the insurance claim resulting from driving a DB5 a tad too quickly into a tight bend, certain individuals might be tempted to exceed the speed limit, just to see what will happen.

This is the mentality I’ve chosen to study with the Exterminate blog series. Continue Reading

Google Human Fail - Banana As a Weapn - Chris Fielden 26.04.13

I have conducted 3 experiments to date, investigating the marvellous (and often frightening) world of people’s search engine habits. They often result in amusing (scary) Google fails. You can see them here:

I thought my work was done. I’d proved that the Daleks were right in trying to exterminate humanity. Surely things couldn’t get any worse…

I was wrong. Extremely wrong. It’s not just the Daleks we should be worried about. If there are any intelligent lifeforms out there and they find us and study our use of technology – particularly the internet – they will all come to the same conclusion, no matter what the temperament their species might have: humans should not be allowed to survive. Continue Reading

No Internet - Chris Fielden - 30.03.13

On bank holiday Monday, April the 1st 2013, IoII (the Institute of Internet Innovation, a recently formed governing body responsible for internet security) plan to undertake a major update of their servers. The installation – a huge bank of Quadruplex iPillion Dualclops e671 Cumulonimbus Servers – is expected to bring unprecedented technological advances in data security and search functionality. Continue Reading

Oleg Og 3 - Chris Fielden - 27.03.13

Here follows the final part of the tale of Oleg Og. But what strange twists might occur at the end? And how might I weave fudge into the story?

“Why would this idiot want to weave fudge into the plot?” I hear you cry.

Well, rather stupidly, I set myself this ridiculous task as a challenge while writing Part 2. Actually, if you want to make sense of anything that follows, you will need to read the preceding instalments:

And so, here’s the finale to the Oleg Og trilogy… Continue Reading

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Seeing the term ‘SEO’ hanging out alongside the words ‘budget review’ on a Board Meeting Agenda can be more terrifying for a CEO than a high court injunction. SEO can be one of those often unquantifiable black holes that seem to suck budgets into a vortex of cash munching mayhem (if this is the case then you obviously aren’t one of our customers. Yet…).

Eek!

The resulting palpitations means a visit to Cardiac Monitors R Us, and that doesn’t fit into your schedule. So what do you do? Continue Reading

Crazy Mural - Google Searches - Chris Fielden 29.11.12

Following on from the disturbing search-engine-usage investigation that was Exterminate! Part 1, I present further proof that mankind is doomed. Sadly, this is no exaggeration – my Doom SirenTM is not stuck on max. This is a statement of fact.

While performing my research, I found the the funny Google searches people perform on a regular basis amusing at first glance. They made me chuckle, giggle, laugh and, on occasion, tested my bladder control.

But hindsight has made me weep with hopelessness. The people who make these searches are human. They breathe the same air as you and I. They belong to our species. Not only that, they make up the majority of our population.

“No,” you cry, “no, that’s not possible.”

It is, ladies and gents, it most certainly is. If they didn’t  the searches below would not be presented by Google for everyone to see. Google tries to be useful. It shows us the things people search for THE MOST. Continue Reading

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As Lord McAlpine takes the tweeters who defamed his character and makes them culpable for their actions, the spotlight turns on libel laws and how it affects the everyday person and their Twitter account. What we want to discuss is how this also affects company Twitter accounts, exactly when shouldn’t you hit that retweet button, and when is it a really bad idea to write a tweet in the first place? Continue Reading

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Hey verily and nay, here doth appear the secondly spun webbing of ‘Oleg Og – Cyber Spider’, a tale of tragedy and fudge.

‘Fudge?’ you cry, ‘I have heard no previous mention of fudge!’

Yes, FUDGE; although the sugary subplot is unlikely to make an appearance until the final moments. Damn it, I’m making this hard to write. Now I need to devise a believable plot including delicious condiments… I accept my own stupid challenge!

For those of you who missed Part 1, you can read it here.

Oleg Og – Cyber Spider

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