Google Human Fail - Banana As a Weapn - Chris Fielden 26.04.13

I have conducted 3 experiments to date, investigating the marvellous (and often frightening) world of people’s search engine habits. They often result in amusing (scary) Google fails. You can see them here:

I thought my work was done. I’d proved that the Daleks were right in trying to exterminate humanity. Surely things couldn’t get any worse…

I was wrong. Extremely wrong. It’s not just the Daleks we should be worried about. If there are any intelligent lifeforms out there and they find us and study our use of technology – particularly the internet – they will all come to the same conclusion, no matter what the temperament their species might have: humans should not be allowed to survive.

Google’s Failure: the Proof

This morning, I began to type an innocent query into Google and was presented with this:

Google Search Suggest 1: I am Ex...

There was nothing I could do. Exterminate 4 had to happen.

The Science of Exterminate 4

As always, the science is simple. But this time, instead of using a question, I’ve used a statement.
My research shows that people frequently type statements into Google. Why? Maybe they think Google needs to know that they are “extremely absolutely boiling”? I’m not sure who they think might care / will do anything about it, but they seem to let Google know anyway.
So, I’ve taken the statement “I am extremely” and followed it with each letter of the alphabet. Below are my findings. Enjoy, my friends. May the results fill your Friday with joy.

I am Extremely…

I_am_extremely_A
I_am_extremely_B
I_am_extremely_C
I_am_extremely_D
I_am_extremely_E
I_am_extremely_F
I_am_extremely_G
I_am_extremely_H
I_am_extremely_I
I_am_extremely_J
I_am_extremely_K
I_am_extremely_L
I_am_extremely_M
I_am_extremely_N
I_am_extremely_O
I_am_extremely_P
I_am_extremely_Q
I_am_extremely_R
I_am_extremely_S
I_am_extremely_T
I_am_extremely_U
I_am_extremely_V
I_am_extremely_W
I_am_extremely_X
I_am_extremely_Y
I_am_extremely_Z

Summary

Are internet users causing these types of query to be presented? I’ve witnessed reality television, so know it’s possible. But I’m beginning to wonder… How advanced is Google, really? Is it as cutting edge as we are led to believe? From what I can see, its edge cuts as effectively as a pilchard through granite. A dead pilchard, which has travelled the digestive tract of a bear.

I’ll be honest – at the end of the day, I don’t really care. It’s Friday. I need something to laugh about.

Image Source: Smabs Sputzer on Flickr

Google Fails: Exterminate Part 4 by